Sunday, October 23, 2005
hmmm.. no matter wad weien say lahz.. i will do wad i wan.. haha.. cant believe him.. juz wanna noe calvell better got wrong meh.. lyk i knew him so long ago lo.. if i really tt kind noe new frens then forget old frens of person meh.. i lyk so long ago can talk to him if i really go for guys who r shuai only lo.. if i wanna noe only shuai guys then i wouldnt even wan to noe u in the first place.. u think u very shuai meh.. haiz... juz find tt calvell sounds interesting... n i dun really believe that a guy who looks so good can be as bad as u said he is.. hmmm.. maybe should get jess to do it.. haha.. she's the one who really wants to noe calvell anyway..
hmmm... enough abt him lahz.. yesterday got sj.. now me so tired.. tot carry 4 first aid boxes very easy one ma.. then now my arms so tired... feel lyk they going to drop off.. zzzzzzzzz... should i go SNCO? i dun lyk tt stupid sir... how dare he accuse me of cheating.. sianz... shouldnt have said tt if royston go for wednesday training then i go SNCO.. then have to pay the 25 bucks.. so tired of sj.. if not for CCA points i then dun wan stay arh.. i was so pissed off at first when i saw that all my CCA points are annulled cuz my attendance are less then 50%.. if lynn din tell me is adri make mistake in the typing of CCA points i den dun wan go sj liao.. sianz arh.. waste so such time there for wad.. hmmm.. last time i very enthu abt sj one.. now cant be bothered..
oh ya.. n i saw calvell at the kallang kfc on tuesday.. haha.. i juz freaked out.. haha.. cuz he was directly beside.. ten the tw frens of his.. one of them.. dunno which one.. so guo fen lo.. ji xiao me.. grrrr.. but wadeva lahz.. heck care.. now my hand very tired liao.. fingers dropping off.. haha.. so blog next time.. haha..
My World. My Life. My Rules.
xoxo nikki
4:50 AM
Tuesday, October 04, 2005
hmmm.. he tells me he broke up with her liao... should i believe him? sianz.. life's so hard to live.. hmmm.. promises are meant to be broken.. dreams are meant to be shattered.. so true.. after wad he did should i still forgive him? wad a sucker.. hmmm.. today on the bus hor.. i suddenly got a new feeling! haha.. dunno wad is it.. but changed my life's prespective.. haha.. in wad way i oso dunno.. but the way i look at things now change liao.. haha.. hmm... i dun wanna think so much liao.. life looks brighter! haha..
today i took a photo of joanna n sindy.. so er xin.. haha.. next time then i upload in to my com then put here.. haha.. looks damn funny.. i even showed it to mr victor so.. haha.. he give that disgusted look n say how can we do this kind of things.. haha.. wonder if anyone's gonna put it up on the bnohana blog.. if no one does it i will.. but first muz find out the password.. haha.. forgot liao.. got stm sia.. wheeeeeeee.......... feel so high.. haha..
i say once again wor.. i dun wan bf wor.. haha.. i tot hor i cannot tahan til my bdae one.. my fren even bet with me i cannot.. haha.. 7 more days to my birthday.. haha.. i'll get $50 dollars haha.. if i till sec for still dun have bf i get another $100! haha.. wheeeeeeeee......... but if a guy lyk me.. hehe will consider.. but muz look lyk julian hee lyk tt one.. haha.. otherwise he's not worth me losing $100 haha.. me is so evil n bad.. haha..
anyway.. i should be mugging for my exams now.. haha.. so i will stop blogging n try to absorb as much as i can... which is lyk very little.. but hey.. got effort can liao ma.. haha... wheeeeeeeeeeeee..................
My World. My Life. My Rules.
xoxo nikki
11:15 AM
Sunday, October 02, 2005
i din ask for u to tell me anything.. y hurt me lyk tt.. i juz happened to come across ur friendster.. i dunno wad u did with her.. her perfume on u when u got to church? n she juz add this testimonial yesterday.. u told me lyk how many days ago.. lyk 3? u said u miss me u fucking jerk.. asshole.. bastard.. i hate u.. all these time.. lies.. wad the fuck.. one after another... ang weien u fucking fucking asshole.. wad did i do to deserve this? i nv asked u to do anything tt u din wanna do.. all i did was to ask u ppl not to lie to me.. is tt so hard.. did god have to do this to me? i didnt ask for u to lie to me.. i said u could tell me anything n i wun hold it against u as long as u didnt lie.. fucking bastard.. i hate u.. alwayn goh u idiot! how dare u.. all of u.. i hate u.. i hate myself.. y did i trust so easily? fucking bastards.. oh how much i hate hate hate.. my life's in a mess.. becuz of me? or u? izzit me? i nv asked for much.. juz for u to not lie.. n i nv got angry even when u shouted at me.. i am such a failure.. how much i hate.. i wish i didnt care.. y am i so weak.. time n again.. after so long.. i am still running in circles.. fucking idiot.. i tot i was strong.. atfer u left me 3 years ago.. yet 3 years later i am still in this damn rut.. i cant get out! how much i hate hate hate.. wad a failure i am.. y am i so trusting.. time n again i got hurt.. y do i love so strongly n hurt so deeply.. when will it stop? i want it to stop.. when will the lies stop.. u wan to die... when u have people who care for u.. u hurt me so much yet i am still here for u.. i dun wanna care anymore.. i dun wanna hurt anymore.. i dun wanna hate anymore.. i want it to stop! i wan to stop crying stop caring stop hurting.. when will it stop.. oh how much i hate!
My World. My Life. My Rules.
xoxo nikki
5:00 AM
