Wednesday, August 20, 2008
I Can't Stand It!!!baby juz finished his operation and is at home now... hmmm... so sian... he cant play basketball anymore le... i think he's very disappointed..
but the thing i cant stand. i cant stand the fucking bitch!! i hate her so very much... haiz... i dunno.. is it worth it to break up with him becuz of his mother?
i mean... i dunno... i cant tolerate her anymore.. she's so unreasonable!!! i juz dunno in way have i offended her other than the fact that i'm her son's gf... i cant stand her scolding me anymore! i cant imagine having to live with her for the rest of my life... i think i will go crazy.. if not for the fact that she is an old lady and i need to respect her, and that she is my bf's mother and i need to tolerate her... i'll give her a good dressing down... i'm juz so fucking irritated...
i dun think she deserves my respect at all.. and i really dun want to keep quiet any more...
i feel lyk screaming at her and slap her...
i wan to pay her back for every thing she has done to me...
i wan to throttle her and make her see sense!!!
i've never been so irritated my someone
i've never been treated lyk tt by anyone
i've never hated someone quite as much as i hate her now...
i feel so bottled up and i feel so terrible!!! on one hand i feel lyk venting my anger on her juz to make myself feel better... on the other hand i feel very bad for wanting to treat someone lyk tt..
haiz... i juz hate her... she made my life so miserable..
My World. My Life. My Rules.
xoxo nikki
1:14 PM
Wednesday, August 06, 2008
2 Years Of Memoriesour love started under a blaze of fireworks at the esplanade
where unknown to you, i had the amazing urge to juz lie on ur chest and watch the fireworks blaze above us. but at that time, you were not mine.
in the beginning, you were my piggy zhuzhu
i loved you so very much and was willing to follow to the ends of earth if need be. and i still do. no matter how much we quarrel and how badly it was. at the end of it, i never regretted being with you.
from my piggy zhuzhu, you became my baby
i still love you very much. i still wanna walk to the ends of earth with you. because i noe that as long as you are by my side, you will never let me come to harm.
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this was our first token of love. i put them in a silver pouch and asked you to choose. you picked the babyboy and i got that babygirl. i noe you were disappointed, so was i. but one day, you secretly switched them! blur me din realised til later that now i've got the babyboy and you have got the babygirl. in a tussle, babyboy was accidently spoilt and i was so upset. but luckily the damage was not permanant and now babyboy is perfectly fine.
our second token of love was this pair of rings. it was supposed to replace the ring that you once had but lost. but baby was too clever and noticed too quickly that there was 2 of them.
the next big event was the MSW. baby dressed up so nice to go for the interview with me.
i hardly ever see you so well dressed. and i was really impressed. thanks baby, for going with me and waiting for me at the Home Team-NS at Ah Hood Road. the weather was so hot but you still had to stay there for so long to wait for me to finish the interview.
at the end of the competition, i did not even get thru to the finals, only the semi finals, but still, u waited hours for me to finish rehearsals, juz to spend a little more time with me. u really did alot for me and i really noe that too. despite being sick, you still spent the whole day at Burger King juz to give me moral support on the day of the competition. i juz wanna say thank you and i love you baby.
i went with you to order the new skates and i got bored and started snapping photos. baby, i juz want you to noe that i'm really proud of you. i noe it is not easy to handle so many things at once. i noe u are very stressed too. but still you can always find time to be there for me. no matter how difficult the times are, you still try to fulfil all my wishes.
i said that i wanted to go to Changi Airport to eat Popeye Chicken. and u had no hesitation in going all the way there with me juz to eat it. you did so many things for me i have no idea how can i do in turn for u.
the last major event that we went to together this year was to my school's Bazzar by the Lake. i noe it was pretty boring for you.
i mean u fell asleep while taking photos with me cuz you were so tired. but i forced you to wake up to entertain me.
and you really did try so hard to stay awake. that day, i wanted to do a belly piercing with carmen when she did her rook piercing. but u look so unhappy with me that i didnt dare to do so.
i noe u dun really wan me to get a belly piercing, but u noe that i wanted very much to do so and u tried to give in to me. i could see that you were really unhappy about it. in the end, i didnt do it. baby, i juz wan u to be happy juz as you wan me to be. no matter how much i really wan the piercing, it is also not very important. u didnt wan me to do it cuz ur afraid it will not heal properly, and i can understand that. thats y, in the end, i chose to not do it. and i wun regret my decision.
i noe often i am very demanding. but still everytime, you give in to me. no matter wad i did or say, at the end of the day u still forgave me. this year was a very difficult year for the both of us. it was a year where many quarrels occurred. times are difficult, but still me managed to hold on.
many times, we wanted to give up. i wanted to give up. for many reasons. i felt that i was ur burden, i felt that you will be happier without me breathing down ur neck, you felt that i was better off without you. but still, it was our love that kept us together. it was the same love that enabled u to do silly things for me.
jus to see me smile.
no matter wad happens baby, we have been together for 2 years now, this year has not been easy, and there has been much unhappiness. we didnt really go out much, but we were happy. no matter how difficult times are, you are always here for me. i hope that i can be there for you too.
difficult this year has been, but we both live for the flashes of happiness that is sprinkled all over the year. our love has held us together for so long, it has really proven to be strong. this is juz the beginning, and there are many more of such years to come.
we will
skate together to the ends of the world together. because i noe you will hold my hand right til the end and still not let go.
i love you
happy 2 years anniversary baby.
My World. My Life. My Rules.
xoxo nikki
12:25 AM
Tuesday, August 05, 2008
A Better Futurei guess my previous post was abit kua zhang la... i'm still super depressed and i really dun wanna study... but i think i'm not as suicidal is before... haha..
juz recovered from a fever that plagued me for almost 2 weeks. maybe that was wad made me so suicidal. i was delirious with fever. anyway, the cause of the fever was a throat infection which hasn't fully recovered yet. but at least no more fever.
i feel reborned. if there is such a word. exams coming. i'm not at all prepared. i really wanna study. but i juz dun feel lyk doing it and i cant get myself to study til the last minute. i should have taken my own advice and chosen a course of study that i was interested in rather than one that is practical. haiz. but i guess wads done is done and i juz have to live with it.
tml will be me and baby's 2 years anniversary. i dun think we are gonna spend it tgt. but i have already given him his present on saturday and we already celebrated it in advance.
baby is gonna go for an op on his knee and i really hope that everything will go well. so that his knee will not give him any more trouble. i juz hope that after that op, he can continue to play basketball. otherwise i noe life will be very bleak for him. afterall he is only 22 this year.
i'm still not sure if i made the right decision. but at least for now. we are happy.
My World. My Life. My Rules.
xoxo nikki
9:52 PM
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