Saturday, April 29, 2006

Time's Almost Up

its almost nine.... abt two more hours... haiz... wad u mean by we shall continue to be frens first ba... cant u give me a definite answer... ur time is almost up... why do i lyk u anyway? i nv did lyk wishy washy guy... found them irritating... but my life has been weird recently anyway... does it really matter? i wish i could hate u... it is easier for me to forget hate than forget love...

My World. My Life. My Rules.
xoxo nikki
10:31 AM

Friday, April 28, 2006

Ultimatum

i sms-ed u to tell me whether u lyk me or not.. u got only 2 choice... lyk or not.. 24hrs from 2143... if u dun give me a definite answer i'll juz take it that u dun lyk me.. and i will forget u...

My World. My Life. My Rules.
xoxo nikki
12:45 PM

Hurt Deep Deep

now he says he dunno if he lyk me not... i mean is a lyk or dun lyk very hard to say? y hang me in mid-air? either pull me up or drop me... u r hurting me more letting me hang there... wads wrong with u? even if u were to say u lyk me.. i dun need u to stead with me ma... o's is coming atter all.. u dun wan oso can de ma... if u dun lyk me we can still be frens ma... not lyk i am going to ignore u juz cuz u dun lyk me... y u doing this to me? y say u dunno if u lyk me but yet stare at me in class.. when i walk pass ur class? u think i dunno... god... i dunno wad to say abt u... i dun even wan to look at u... i dun dare... u think i wanted to lyk u... i knew it was a mistake from the beginning... i tried hard to not lyk u... but from the day i admitted to lyk-ing i already gave up my ablity to choose... i am in ur hands already... u can make or break me... if u dun lyk me.. juz tell me so... and dun leave me hanging... if i fall and hurt myself at least i juz get hurt and i can have time to lick my wounds later... by hanging me there i cant even heal myself cuz there is no way i can do that is mid-air.. becuz by not letting me fall u are giving hope that u might pull me up.. y? if u let me fall after that.. u r hurting me more.. pls... i need to noe... pls juz tell me... oh god pls... i beg u? pls... i dun think i can take it lyk that anymore.... stop hurting me... u made me cry... u r the first guy to make me cry for u.. becuz of u... u made me cry when no one else could... u hurt me so deeply... y... pls juz let me go...

My World. My Life. My Rules.
xoxo nikki
12:09 PM

Thursday, April 27, 2006

Loved...

issac say he gonna buy me bdae present.. haha... i cant wait! though my bdae still long long time... but ok la.. hahha... so happi... cant wait for ym present... but this is not the thign that made me feel loved...

today nicholas zu dong talk to me... haha... very funny... he call my name lehz... then i still blur blur ask him how he noe my name.. then he point at my name tag... hahaha... so paiseh lo.. me so blur... but the is not the thing that made me feel loved either

this is the thing!!! he told me that he lyk me!! wa.... after so long... he finally say liao... me so happy!! on the bus... then he say he lyk me!!! i so happy lo.. then i told him i lyk him too... then juz nice is my stop... i quickly got off the bus... ahha... but i really so happy!! he told me he lyk me!! hha... but this yr o's la.. not lyk i goign to do anythign abt it.. but him holding my hands is lyk telling me tt he lyk me... but without him actually saying it latre i end up lyk last time lyk tt.. he oso do things that make me think he lyk me lyk kissing me and everything... then he stead with someone else... saying that he nv did say that he lyk me... cheat my feelings lo... ahhah... but now me so happi! he say he lyk me!! hahah

i got some rather disturbing things to blog but i save for next time... dun ruin the happy mood here... ahha... he lyk me!!

My World. My Life. My Rules.
xoxo nikki
9:21 AM

Wednesday, April 26, 2006

Happy Birthday Issac

juz found out today his birtjhday... so wanna wish him a very happy birsthday... and well.. dun get too upset abt ur break up ba... haha... u so nice... sure can find someone else one.. haha... i will really buy ur bdae present lehz... is juz how to give u? hahah...

i got to apologize to someone again... that is landis... i really dun think i will lyk u... u remind me too much of him... u say i was lyk leading u on? but when i tried to tell u i dun lyk u u say i was comdemning u... wad was i to do? haiz...

ahhaha... well... overall i am very happy today... but jia feng pangseh me again... pissed too... haha.. oh well... life is still great today

My World. My Life. My Rules.
xoxo nikki
11:53 AM

Monday, April 24, 2006

Karma

wadeva happened on friday i had no idea.. the std 3s juz came to sj not wearing their uniform saying that they din noe that got training... i cannot do anything but express my disappointment in them...

y have they turned out lyk tt? uniform very heavy? wad abt us? we oso brought our uniform to sj every friday wad... wad abt ur juniors the std 2s? they oso brought their uniform to sj wad... u say dun wan bring cuz uniform too heavy? then fine la.. dun bring lo... then sj dun wear uniform lo.. close down sj lo.. wads the point of having sj in chung cheng corp? its ruining at our hand... we cant even control our juniors.. we cant even lead them properly... we cant even get them to respect us... wads the point of continuing this corp?

i once tot that the std 3s will be much better trainers than us.. but they turned out lyk tt.. is it our fault that we caused them to be lyk tt? if chung cheng corp dun end at our hands... it will end at theirs.. we now have to resort to using dunman high officers to help with our corp... i feel so embarrassed..

embarrassed that we have to get help from other corp cuz we cannot handle our own corp.. embarrassed that we have to let utsiders take our corp... i feel even more embarrassed that all we have to show for wad my squad has done is our std 3s... the std 3s who dun respect sj... dun respect us... at least not enough to think that it is worth them bringing their training materials along to sch for training lyk the rest of us..

i look at dunman... i look at chung cheng.. i wonder... how come they can be so good? how come they have so many officers? how come they they dun have problems of insubordination? how come they dun have cadets telling them that they dun wan bring uniform to sch? how come my std 3s are still privates when thy should be at least lance corporal? more importantly... where are my officers?

wad were u thinking when u left us? did u think we could cope? then u thought too highyl of us.. why did u cancel JNCO? why are the ppl lying to me... between the 6 of u someone is lying to me... i wanna noe who... but no one is willing to tell me... i am so sick and tired... wad happened to the sj i joined in sec 1? wad happened to my frens in sec 1? wad happened to my officers and seniors in sec 1? why have things turned out lyk that? why is my std held responsible for the turnout of the events? things are beyond our control..

i guess this would be wad ppl call karma...

My World. My Life. My Rules.
xoxo nikki
2:56 AM

Thursday, April 20, 2006

Tramatized By Dirty Old Man (Part 2)

well... yesterday too tramatized to write abt it... i boarded the bus and sat on the upper deck of the bus next to this old man... at first he juz kept grinning at me lehz... i ignored him la.. took out my book to read... then i heard him start to moan.. i was lyk... wad the fuck?!? i snuck a glance at him out of the corner of my eye... he was still staring at me lo.. and he reached his hand into his trousers and was masturbating.. i was totally freaked.. i call my fren up and started to tell her abt this disgusting old man that was sitting next to me.. wanted to cange seat... but there was none available... all the time i was still telling my fren abt this old man quite loudly.. but no one noticed.. they were juz basically ignoringme lo... some of them juz looked at me and looked away pretending that nothing happened... wad the hell... but as i was not ready to take a photo of him masturbating.. i din do anything lo.. i mean if i kicked up a fuss he wld juz deny it lo.. and i got nth to back me up... cuz te ppl around me were juz ignoring me... when i seat was available i quickly changed seat... disgusting old man... bleah....

My World. My Life. My Rules.
xoxo nikki
9:19 AM

Wednesday, April 19, 2006

Tramatized by Dirty Old Man (Part 1)

too freaked to blog abt it... tml... i will blog abt it... disgusting old man who masturbated on the bus...

My World. My Life. My Rules.
xoxo nikki
11:17 AM

Tuesday, April 18, 2006

Boyfriend/Boy Friend

i am really losing my mind.. how can it be possible that i put myself in this position time and again? do i lyk being here? no! then y izzit i always let myself be here? its not that i dun wan a bf.. i shld make myself clear that time.. inmy sms.. its not that i dun wan.. i dun dare.. i think i have enough guys who hurt me.. knowingly or unknowingly.. it is oso not that i did not hurt them.. i did.. and in this crucial year.. i dun wan things lyk a relationship to jeopardize our studies.. we can make promises.. but it has all been broken.. i for one cannot be sure that now i can plegde my love to u foreva.. not at this period of time.. maybe later.. when we are all more matured.. but now? i dun even trust myself to say that i will love u foreva.. for now yes.. foreva? i am not sure.. i dun wan to wake up one morning and realise that i dun lyk u anymore.. i really cannot get hurt again... not now... i cannot afford to go thru another emotional rollercoaster lyk i did in sec 2 and 3 .. i cannot let anyone hurt me again... i will have an emotional breakdown.. something i cannot let myself go thru in the coming period of o lvl.. how prepared are u to accept me for who i am? to be able to accept that i can be clse with other guys.. can u give me the freedom i wan and the freedom that i can give u? i do not need u to be with me 24/7... i believe that we each need our own space... are u ready to accpet a gal that do not need u 2/7.. for a gal who may not want to be with u 24/7? i still have a lot of things that i wan to do that i have not done... i am not prepared to give up the freedom i have in my limited time as a teenager.. are u? when u and i have more time.. and are more ready to commit to a relationship then we talk abt it.. for now i dun wanna ruin my friendship with u.. i dun wanna go thru another break up... i am sorry..

My World. My Life. My Rules.
xoxo nikki
11:52 AM

Monday, April 17, 2006

Poor Me...

ah... my poor poor wrist... now typing with only one hand... my poor left hand cannot type... too stiff liao.. doctor say i cannot lift heavy things for at least 1 wk... sianz.... he rub rub rub till my hand so pain lo.. ouch!!! lyk ridding the dead skin cells from my arm lyk that... then my hand turn red red... and all the skin come out... so disgusting lyk tt... then the hand swollen now... pain pAIN PaIN pAIn PaIn... sob sob... aiya... my rite hand very tired liao le.... i lyk my new blog skin... hehe... i dun wan type liao le...

My World. My Life. My Rules.
xoxo nikki
5:32 AM

Sunday, April 16, 2006

hmmm... finally changed my blog skin... i love it!!1 hAHA... but i copy one.. then i make some changes myself.. i not pro enough to do everyhting myself lah... itz not very nice i noe.. but dun laugh at me k? : )

My World. My Life. My Rules.
xoxo nikki
9:51 PM

Acquired Taste

eating durians requires acquired taste...some ppl find it fragrant.. some ppl find it smelly... juz lyk durian.. beauty is also an acquired taste... u find this person beautiful.. others may find it ugly.. so kenny sia.. dun get angry.. haha..but i digress... i find u shuai.. but others dun think so... me not trying to make u happy la.. is the truth la.. love is an aquired taste.. u either love it or hate it.. or u dunno to hate or to love it.. i think love is not for me now... i haven had a bf for almost a yr.. thats great izzint it? most ppl tot i cannot make it.. but i din.. so there.. xp life is another acquired taste.. u think that ur life is great.. but that does not mean that i think my life is great... i think it suck..so stop trying to change my mind abt how my life suck.. u dun live in my life.. so i dunno how i feel and so stop trying to pretend that u do...

actually i am juz bored so i wrote this entry.. no offense k? but well. jolvin arh.. u r an acquired taste... i mean it k? u WILL find sb who will appreciate u k? rock on.. : )

My World. My Life. My Rules.
xoxo nikki
1:54 AM

Saturday, April 15, 2006

Blogging Diarrhea

i am juz absolutely bored so started blogging.. i am juz going to type wadeva that comes to mind so i am not going to make much sense... i juz realise that i am not being truthful in my own blog..

the emptiess is growing.. the hurt is growing.. but i still cannot rmb wad is the hurt abt.. i tried to pretend that nth is happening juz by laming aroung but i am failing miseribly.. i keep think of him and his gf.. it is so easy to say that becuz i love u i am not going to intrude upon ur relationship... but i still cannot let u go.. i keep thinking... i keep hurting.. sth else is adding on to the hurt.. but i dun rmb wad.. i dun noe wad...

i think he lyk me.. frm the things he has been doing.. he will be a great bf.. but do i lyk him.. i say i dun lyk him.. but that is not true.. i think that perhaps that little part of me actually do hope that we can be more than frens.. or am i juz trying find a replacement for u? i say i lyk him.. but how can i? lyking u so much yet finding a place for him.. i honestly ask myself if i lyk him.. i dunno.. i really dunno...

they juz broke up.. the guy who seemed so unfaithful... who had attracted me so much tt time.. i feel so evil but i feel a little bit of gladness.. that perhaps he may lyk me.. but i dun think that is possible..and i dun even lyk him.. y wld i wan him to lyk me? but more imptly.. at least this way she wun be hurt again.. the way he treated her was lyk shit.. they seem so loving in front of ppl but the things he does behind her back is juz plain terrible...

i am so tired of being ps-ed.. i shld go back to being wad i was last time.. dun ask ppl out.. wait for them to ask me out..then at least can be sure that not one kanna ps.. cuz i dun ps my frens one k.. i dunno y they lyk to ps ppl... esp some ppl who nv keep their promises.. promises are not meant to be broken.. they r made to be kept k? so dun break ur promises again..

suffering from mood swings recently.. sorry to all my fens who got to take that crap from me.. but well.. going thru one of my most emotional phrases these few month.. i am so sorry.. trying really hard to curb my temper.. sorry... sorry to royston whom i call in the middle of the nite to kp to.. sorry to lynn for getting angry at u over dumb things lyk adri.. sorry to lishi for my inabilty to tolerate ur ditziness.. sorry to louisa for my lack of understanding to ur tardiess.. and sorry to every single perosn who i have offended due to my selfishiness and my neglect of ur feelings.. to shining and yu yan.. my most sincere apologise for insulting u guys..

i wanna thank all the ppl who has helped me throughout these times.. i nv had a proper nite of sleep cuz of everything that is happening and i thank all my frens who oso stayed up with me to pei me throughout the nite.. esp royston.. gave me invaluable advise from time to time.. he is always there when i need someone to talk to to kp to and to share my joys with.. always patient with me... though i noe i do get on ur nerves... but u nv let me feel neglected... another one i wan to thanks is jolvin.. his crapping cheered me up at the time when i needed it most.. stayed awake with me at nite to talk to me.. even though i keep taking so long to reply his sms.. thanks alvin for taking my crap in sj.. and for nv throwing his temper on me even when i was purposely being unreasonable.. thanks lynn.. for ur beautiful pair of listening ears.. u can have mine when u wan them too.. thanks carmen.. for being the only one who can bear to tolerate my lameness and talk to me abt boxers and healthy sperms..

this maybe my longest post ever... well.. i feel so much better after this blogging diarrhea.. pulling on my pants and flushing to drain away all these unhappiness.. watching them slowly disappear as i start a new phrase of my life.. i hope..

i am a happier person... cheers to the bright future.. i hope.. i will forget u one day... with or without his help.. rock on... X )

My World. My Life. My Rules.
xoxo nikki
9:58 PM

I Give Up..........

wad a lucky gal u r... u got a guy who loves u and u love back... and u got the guy i lyk too.. how sweet... i guess life's lyk that.. i always seems to get to noe the guys that i lyk at the wrong time.. if it is not that they already have a gf... then it would be they juz got rejected by the gal they lyk.. and then i comfort them and send them into the arms of another gal... or... all they wan is a gal to be their best fren at the point of their lives... how sad.. otherwise... it will be my problem.. when the perfect guy comes at the wrong time and all i wanted was a little 'me' time at that time.. and by the time i am over that they lyk someone else.. or i will be lyking someone else oblivious to their existence aand by the time i notice them... they lyk someone else.. these perfect guys seem to be slipping thru my fingers.. haiz.. i dun understand why some gals lyk to tell me that they envy me.. wad is there to envy? and the very gal who tells me that has a great bf... and her life is not in the pits lyk mine is.. i wld lyk to tell the world that i give up.. but the more terrible life is the more exciting and the more i wanna overcome it.. i think my competitive streak is killing me.. i envy u... but i wld rather u be with him than me..

because loving someone is to give that person the greatest happiness u can give him...
because i love him...
because he love u...
because i believe u are his greatest happiness...
i wun let the world noe i love him...
not because i am trying to be self-sacrificing...
simply because i love him juz as u do...
dun ever hurt him...
because i dun wan to comfort him...

My World. My Life. My Rules.
xoxo nikki
10:35 AM

Friday, April 14, 2006

Sprained Wrist

hmm... haha... really hurt my wrist on saturday.. ahha.. so now typing with only one hand cuz my left hand still bit painful... apparantly the little bomes on my left hand shifted or sth... thats y i cannot move my wrist properly.. and cannot do pumping.. haha.. and i was wearng my ring on my left hand wehn that chinese doctor was bandaging it.. now my hand swell up and cannot remove the ring liao.. haha.. lucky i tml can remove the bandage liao.. tml going skating... i hope.. hopefully no one ps me tml.. otherwise hor.. i not going out with anyone of them for the rest of my life liao.. lishi ps me tml.. she always lyk tt one.. ask her if can go out she say she dunno... then later ask her again she tell me her fren juz ask her and she agree togo out with her frens le.. so bitch lo.. or she will say she wanna study or some stupid reason then dun go out.. qian bian.. tml is the last time i going to jio anyone out again.. so sian.. everytime got one reason or another cannot go out.. sickening.. usually is some dumb reason..i dun wan go out with ppl liao.. jio ppl out too ma fan liao.. next time they ask me go out i will oso give them one of the dumb resons that they give me to not go out with me.. bunch of fucking bastards..

My World. My Life. My Rules.
xoxo nikki
4:31 AM

Thursday, April 13, 2006

Juzme

i am losing it these days.. i feel so bad all the time.. i get mood swings.. i try hard not to show it.. but it rears its ugly head now and then.... i am so tired of it... i feel this deep hurt in me... that i can no longer explain... i dun rmb wad hurt me... i only noe the hurt.. i dun understand y.. i wanna cry... but i dunno for wad.. i am scaring myself.. it seems lyk i have no memory of wad that has happened... wad is happening to me? god save me... i dunno wad to do..

My World. My Life. My Rules.
xoxo nikki
11:34 AM

Wad Is Friendship?

i walked away today not cuz i was angry... i wan u to understand wad i do when i throw my tempre.. i dun shout at ppl k? that is not my style.. i walk away.. none of us r perfect... i dun expect u to change for me.... even if we are good frens.. there are many things that i dun lyk u to do at times.. but i accept that that is u... n i hope u understand that... and i think that we have been thru more than any other frens of 3 yrs.. i hope u accept me for who i am too... i did not throw my temper cuz i was angry k? u juz passed bandages over to rujin.. and lishi ask where the bandages are... i mean.. she is sitting next to them... cant she see? i admit that i was pissed off at junwei.. and i dun understand how can louisa stand up for him... i dun think i did wrong in scolding him during training... he say he dun lyk the way i scold him? thats becuz i nv scolded him b4 this and he does not noe that thats juz the way i scold ppl during training and not cuz i am biased against him for lyking lishi.. u dun lyk the fact that i keep spewing vulgarities? c'mon... that is not the first time u hear me scold vulgarities k? i have been spewing vulgarities since the first day u guys noe me.. if u realise only after 3 yrs that u dun lyk that fact abt me... then there is nth i can do.. i dun lyk the way u do thinks too... but i dun expect u to change... i dun lyk the way lishi is always late and her responses to things... i wish she wld change... but i dun expect her to.... i dun lyk many things abt other ppl... but i dun expect them to change for me cuz i believe that as frens we accept each other for who they are... including all their faults.. i mean its not lyk they are breaking the law rite? true... i do get angry... but i try hard not to let it get in my way... even though it does sometimes...

My World. My Life. My Rules.
xoxo nikki
10:51 AM

Wednesday, April 12, 2006

Hard To Love...

loving someone is so difficult... i tot it was supposed to be a beautiful thing.. i look at the ppl around me... i look at myself.. why cant i have that kind of relationship? y the ppl i lyk nv lyk me back? loving the wrong person.. is that wad i am guilty of? now i lyk a guy... a guy that i cannot have.. can never have... y? y muz he be so nice to me? when it is impossible that we can get together... i tried telling myself that i dun lyk him... and i almost suceeded in that... but he had to do the thing that touched me most.. unknowingly i acknowledge the fact.. y... i really did not want this to happen.. i am so torn.. i noe it is impossible.. but i cannot help myself.. and now my passion and my fear r becuz of him.. i cannot face my fear without thinking of him... and i want to stop thnking abt him.. i wan to stop.. if only i an stop i can let go... juz as i have ket everyone other guy go.. but it is virtually impossible.. becuz... unlyk them... he toucheed me the most.. he was the nicest to me among all of them... even my bfs wasnt as nice as him... and he is not even required to do it for me.. but he did it.. i doubt anyone else counld do the same... the split second decision done by someone would be to help themselves first b4 anyone else... yet he put me in front of himself.. when i am no one to him.. if only i am the one by his side... he is perfect to me... in my eyes... foreva perfect.. no one can ever take his place... he is special.. he did sth for me no one else i believe can.. i will nv forget him... this is for him... to my memory.. to issac...

My World. My Life. My Rules.
xoxo nikki
12:35 PM

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

WARNING!!!

this is going to be one long long post.. haha..

Lishi's Amazing Feats In Inline Skating

this is for my dear baby... haha.... she very very cute.. always scream scream scream... haha.. worse... she lyk to go very very fast.... but she dunno how to break... then always crash onto ppl.. haha.. then make ppl fall down with her.. got once rite.. jean was standing firmly on the ground.. then lishi behind her fall down... her legs kick out and hit jean's skates... then jean fell flat on the ground.. another time... we at traffic light there then chiong very fast.. then lynn almost crash into meso she quickly hug the lamp post... then lishi came even faster and crash onto lynn... flattening lynn onto the lamp post.. and she was laughing!! lynn's face change frm relief that she din fall down to pain frm beng squashed and rage that lishi could still laugh... can imagine how it must have hurt.. haha.. hmmm.. actually lyk that type out not very funny lehz.. i dun wan type liao....

Damnable Jun Wei

now i wanna complain about jun wei.. that stupid guy... damn fucking guy.. he so damn hypocritical.. she tell lishi that he not angry at lynn for scolding him on friday's training.. but he diao lynn on saturday.. he ask lishi who she prefers.. then say he will prefer lishi to choose yin zhi cuz he find himself very untrustworthy... wad the fuck... trying to be wei da rite? then he go round telling ppl how much he lyk lishi and how wei da is he to give her up.. so damn fucked up.. wad an idiot.. then he still put on his nick snowwhite and charcoal.. disgusting.. juz cuz lishi keep saying herself very white and he very dark.. disgusting.. then lishi ask him to change the nick he change to.. u're white i;m black.. wad the hell... who the fucking hell does he think he is la.. still say we all bised against him.. more lyk he biased against us la.. i ask him nicely on friday if he going to training... he say yes after his detention... then later i found him chatting with nathan instead of going training then i ask him go training.. then he say is nathan's fault cuz they write slowly when he ask them to hurry up.. wad the fuck.. i scold him cuz he took his time coming and he tried to push the blame to others.. but wad the hell la.. he say i biased against him cuz he lyk lishi.. fuck him man.. as his NCO i got no rite to scold him for trying to pon training and for trying shift his blame to others meh? i am supposed to juz let him treat this uniform grp as a slacking grp izzit? if that was the way then i think i and everyone in my squad who zong rong him very dui bu qi royston.. after all that he has done we let our corp be ruined in our hands... and he actually dare to go tell ppl how wei da is he to let lishi go cuz we object.. at first i juz wldnt lyk it if lishi were to really lyk him even if i think he pei bu shang her.. but now... lishi better not let me noe that she is talking to him.. otherwise i not going to talk to her.. biased against him rite? he think i biased to him b4 this then he is so in deep shit.. now this is wad i call biased against him.. he better watch out in sch.. i will be sure to dao him.. i dun believe in using my status as his NCO to scold him.. but that does not mean outside cca i wun scold him.. damn that stupid idiotic fucking bastard who has got no brains enough for common sense not to mess with me..

My World. My Life. My Rules.
xoxo nikki
10:52 AM

Monday, April 10, 2006

juz visited friendster AGAIN... finally got to see wad i wanted to see.. actually i think i very you zhi... i mean... i see the profiles i oso dun rmb... juz go for fun.. then simply cuz i couldnt get to see wad i clicked i juz kept visiting it til i got to see it.. and now i dun even rmb wad their profile is abt... haha.. maybe i am really too rebellious.. and very very stubborn.. simply wan things my way... muz rmb not to be so ba dao la.. later no guy wan me.. haha..

jolvin is one very weird guy.. i juz read his testimonials and i was lyk.... wa... everyone say the same thing abt him.. haha.. all say he full of crap.. full of nonsense.. lyk to bully little children and is a terrorist.. haha..but all oso say he very faithful in love.. haha.. keep mentioning abt this one gal.. haha.. dunno is who.. so curious.. haha.. but i oso dunno her.. so kpo for wad.. and all seem very very protective of him.. haha.. even if he seem so crappy all the time they all treat him lyk a kid they will all give their life to protect from hurt.. haha..so cute!

oh ya... and it seems lyk everyone thinks that i lyk issac.. its not true lo.. juz cuz i on saturday xin qing bu hao and coincidently issac wasnt there on that day does not mean that i miss him k.. for one, i nv sleep for many days liao.. i was very very sleepy.. so i was quieter than usual la.. for another, i was very very freaked out after darwin pulled me down the slope.. thats y i look so bu shuang.. but i not bu shuang at all! cuz after darwin let me go i was shaking all over lo... i almost couldnt make it to the bus stop to sit down lehz.. damn scary wor... then i haven recover from the shock u wan me laugh meh.. aiyo..

my fear of slope really handicapped me.. i really cannot bear slopes on skates.. i dunno y.. i have never been hampered by any of my fears.. but this one really stumped me.. i feel so bu fu.. how come i cannot even bear to go over a hump.. juz a stupid hump on the road and i dun even dare to go over it.. i dun understand y... i am afraid of many things.. but they have not stopped me from doing anything that i wanted to do.. so y am i letting one fucking slope get in my way??

My World. My Life. My Rules.
xoxo nikki
7:35 AM

hmmm.. juz went to friendster again.. finally got to see jolvin and issac's acct... but i still cannot see darwin's one.. dun wan go see cheng wee's one liao... it seems lyk i only have this kind of probs with airborne ppl lehz.. cuz i go everyone else's one can lehz.. haha.. i finally go browse thru the friendster things liao.. haha.. after one year.. most of my friends dun even noe i acct.. haha... at least lyk that no one ask me write testimonials for them la..

omg issac's gf is damn chio!!! so freaking chio!! hahha.. but this kind of nice nice guy muz have a beauitful and kind gf then can ma rite? hahha.. but still feel so sry abt his arm.. sry sry sry wor.. now i damn scared of slopes.. darwin help me go down the slope that time i grab his hand SO hard when i let go i saw fingernail marks on his hand.. so sry wor.. i dun think i going to skate for a long long time.. unless is skate on CCHMS basketball court! that one can! i love the bball court now.. no slopes! haha.. and jolvin was very nice yesterday.. he really go very very very slow when we went down the slope... but goodness me i was still very very scared.. especially slopes that have got to turn.. slopes are things that r very very scary!! but he really very nice.. he give me eat his whip potato when we at KFC.. ahha.. jasmine says the way to my heart is thru my stomach.. as long as u gimmi food i'll think that u r a very very very nice person.. haha.. i really think jolvin very nice liao.. haha..

inline skating has offically ended.. will miss all my great instructors and wan to thank them loads for all the patience they have shown to us.. and for tolerating my slopes phobia and lishi's tendency to scream scream and scream.. maybe will continue lessons after my o lvls haha.. if got someone pei me go that is.. hahha

now lets talk abt friday's talent time.. it was great!! hahah.. actually i went there juz to hear wei qi and kai wan sing.. haha.. they all sang great! after that i went home with jia feng.. omg that evil guy... the lights on theroad out of chung cheng was all out for some reason.. then he keep scaring me.. i was already very scared of the dark liao lo.. he still lyk that make me.. so bad lo..

anyway.. i going back to sleep liao.. woke up early juz to check out friendster hoping that at this unearthly hour it will not be as lag as yesterday.. but seems the same to me.. sianz..

oh ya.. and check out www.kennysia.com is really funny! haha

My World. My Life. My Rules.
xoxo nikki
1:32 AM

Sunday, April 09, 2006

juz updted my friendster profile.. previosly it was juz..

occupation: student

school: CKP~ CCHMS

at least now got more things liao! got things abt me wad kind of guy i wan blah blah blah.. after erm.. 1 year? i finally did sth to my profile!!!

but damn if i can open my stupid profile to actually SEE how my new profile looks lyk! not that it is very interesting or wadsoeva seing that i am the one to type it.. but... i oso dunno.. juz wanna see lo.. haha... but i cant see it?!?!!? nethier can i see jolvin( that is the correct spell of jovin) and issac and the airborne thing!! so irritating!! wanted to go see chengwee's one.. but lyk.. later cannot see agin.. sianz arh... din even bother to look for darwin one...

My World. My Life. My Rules.
xoxo nikki
1:02 PM

well... i got things to complain abt today... haha... i think i complain too much.. but this is my blog.. who cares??? ahha

first... wad is it with guys and private parts? i dun lyk guys to scold lan jiao.. but it is still ok with me... i mean u wan scold ur own cock that by all means do it la.. but c'mon.. chi bye? u jealous we gals have and u dun have izzit? it seems lyk almost all the guys (note the word almost) i noe scold chi bye more than they scold lan jiao.. wads their prob la.. wan scold go scold ur own dick.. scold our vagina for wad? disgusting freaks.. how many gals do u actually see start scolding cb or lj one? out of 10 i'll say only 1 or 2... for guys lehz? out of 10 probably 8 or 9.. i hate guys who scold cb... i really hate it..

secong thing i wan complain abt is friendster!!! wads their prob? i cannot open the link on my own profile cuz it does not appear and other ppl! darwin told me that his airborne skating thing got friendster acct.. so wanted to see it... then cannot see!!! and i wanted tosee issac's acct.. refresh and close the window dunno how many times then finally see.. haha.. his gf damn chio!!! but then i go see his other pics then cannot go back liao... disgusting.. nowadays friendster is so lag... and to think after dunno how many months i finally log on to friendster and the is the result i get.. i dun care.. going to try again tml.. so bu fu lo..

haha.. one more thing... told lishi today that the first guy to make me cry and can help me overcome my fear of the dark and slopes will be my bf!!! haha.. i'll marry him man... haha.. if he wans me tt is.. haha.. getting very bimbo here... but a guy's eyes attracts me the most! haha.. who care if he is fat and short? nice eyes are the things that matter... haaha.. i read somewhere thateyes are the window's to one's soul.. hmm... not sure whether i agree.. but i think eyes can express a lot abt how a person feels.. haha.. i love guy's whose eye can suo hua one.. haha.. very very expressive eyes are amazing!! haha.. gushing so much abt eyes... ahha.. hopefully the next guy that lyks me has great eyes!! ahha.. but a great presonality is much much much more impt... haha..

My World. My Life. My Rules.
xoxo nikki
12:58 PM

Friday, April 07, 2006

hmmm... well... dun really have much to say ba.. juz that... inline skating last lesson liao... dun really feel lyk going anymore.. haha... dun wanna see him... hmmm... well but still gtg.. haha... i paid money u noe!?

anyway... many times i regreted joining sj... really... sj hurt me the most... literally emotionally physically and mentally... but oso thru sj i got to noe a greta bunch of frens.. those are things i will nv regret... cannot imagine wad is life lyk next year without them with me anymore.. now sec 4 liao.. we will be going our separate ways after that... going jc and poly.. diff subject combination and courses.. for now.. i juz wan to enjoy wad we have... i will love every single one foreva.. after going thru so much together as one... i think my feelings for u guys can withstand everything... wad u feel for me i do not noe.. but noe understand my own feelings well enough... : )

thank you royston... for everything that u have given us... u were the one that brought us up... without there would have been no us... and for that i am grateful to u... for all the times that we bitched abt u... haa... only my most sincere apologies..

thank you yuyan... even though i nv really lyked u much.. but well... u gave us a common topic to bitch abt in the toilets and during private campfires in camp... : ) but i do noe u have put in much effort for us... for which i am touched... becuz even though u noe that we do not lyk u u still did lots for us despite that... my most heartfelt thanks

everything here is from the bottom of my heart and and i honestly love u all.. even yuyan... yes... really... even her... becuz she played a part in sj to... and she made a difference.. gals... i hope u rmb the pact we made for 2015... dun forget... i noe i wun... : )

My World. My Life. My Rules.
xoxo nikki
1:15 PM

Wednesday, April 05, 2006

this post is long over due... but i am really touched... haha... well... i started my inline skating course 6 weeks ago... the one i am talking abt is the 6th one la... then the next one will be the 7th and the last...

well... i got four insturctors... issac jovin darwin and cheng wee.. hope i got their names rite.. anyway... darwin dun come often la... but they really damn nice..

wad happened on april's fool's day was lyk this... darwin and issac were trying to get us gals to go down this slope and turn left at the end of the turn... otherwise will crash into a pillar... but then... haha... i was the first to go down la... issac was helping me and holding my hand... but last min i kinda forgot how to turn... then was going to crash into the pilliar... issac was beside me am.. then his forearm was in front of me.. when we going to crash onto the pilliar i totally freaked la... cuz his arm was going to hit the pilliar... then will crack his bone lehz.. then i was damn worried la.. tried to pull his arm away budden he pull his arm back... cuz if pull his hand away then i will hit the pilliar on my face.. haha... so his arm juz hit it lo... can FEEL the impact of the hit thru my hand holding his.. omg... my heart almost jumped out lehz.. scare to me too death... lucky in the end he was ok.. darwin was trying to freak me some more saying that lyk that issac cannot play b-ball le.. haiz... thanks go he can play anyway.. otherwise i will be so guilty foreva!!

i lyk my insturctors ok la.. but haha.. sometimes jovin can be irrtating.. haha... we call him lion... cuz he streak his hair gold and keep it long... lyk lion's mane lyk tt.. darwin dun go training very often la... so far only see him 3 times... haha.. cheng wee is quiet quiet one... nv see him tlak often.. haha...

oso.. i got one naughty baby!! baby! cannot anyhow go call ppl daddy one lehz... u lyk tt will make mummy very embarrassed one.. haha

inline skating's coming to an end liao... most prob not going to see them again... sad... oh well.. haha... will miss them loads... hope issac's arm is alrite and that jovin and cheng wee will stop spouting nonsense... cuz i am definitly not issac's fling k?!!

My World. My Life. My Rules.
xoxo nikki
12:42 PM