Wednesday, October 31, 2007
Difficult Timesi'm really really tired! i dun lyk to pretend that i'm happy!! i wanna hide somewhere where no one can find me!!!
i dun lyk ppl to ask wads wrong... becuz i noe they cant help at all! ultimately, only u can help urself... maybe if i wallow enough in this horrible place i'll slowly figure out how to get out... haiz... despite knowing this, it doesnt make me feel any better at all!!!
why despite knowing and understanding we still cant help feeling upset? shouldnt knowing and understanding come with acceptance? if it did... my life will be so much easier if it did...
another 2 more years of suffering... 1 more year til things get easier...
can i even last tt long?
My World. My Life. My Rules.
xoxo nikki
1:04 PM
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
Fantastic Day!!!saturday was beautiful!! altho me and baby din spend much time tgt... but it was a very long time ago did we actually sit side by side to simply watch tv and for baby to hug me to sleep!!! i think we have become and old married couples where we get so used to each other that we dun do much tgt le... so when we do manage to spend some QUALITY time tgt... itz really special!!
sunday i went out with lynn and lishi and rujin and jean... we went to eat myanmar which kelly brought me and pei hoon too... and i find it really nice!!! tho i dun think they were used to the food... =( and then we went to kbox!! we sang for lyk 5hours... but it was lyk me and lishi getting high ourselves only!!! very depressing!!! then mostly lynn juz sit there... jean simply mumbles songs... and rujin got sing la... but the 3 of them juz sit there... so sad!!! nvm... it was still very fun... but i had to sign up for the membership... zzzzzzzzz......
then... today lo...m poor arms!!! all bruised fromplaying volleyball with grace... but ok la...we went to eat pizza hut... poor jeffrey keep getting suaned..... wei jie keep being lame... wei xian arh... stony stony de... and wei yu and john pangseh!!!
oh well... should get the saving's plan? i feel abit... i dunno... uncomfortable ard chin hui.... maybe i'm thinking too much...
My World. My Life. My Rules.
xoxo nikki
12:32 PM
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
Pissing Me Offhaiyo.... i'm getting very irritated easily recently... and the slightest thing pisses me off!!! and becuz of tt... my words are getting harsher and harsher... and i end up pissing mself off and the ppl ard me off cuz of my hurtful words...
if i say sorry will u forgive me??? =(
and marilyn juz dedicated a song on 98.7fm!!!! itz called Guardian Angel or sth... =x haha... and i was included in it!!!! so happy... that time faifai and baby dedicate songs to me i all din get to hear... =(
i juz suddenly tot that szeyan owe me ALOT of money!!! i think it has got to do with the fact that i'm lyk damn poor this few days la... so ya... hmmm... so many times we go out i all bao ka liao... i dun care... u muz pay me back $100 buck!!! muahahahha.... i'm lyk so freaking evil... =x when u coming back to sg??? we go pasta mania? we din get to go out the last time u came to sg...
baby say he wanna go swimming this weekend... sobz... i'm still so fat how to go??? cannot canot... wait till i shed off all the extra pounds then we go.... ahha
i;m tired... shall sleep le!!!
My World. My Life. My Rules.
xoxo nikki
1:01 PM
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
Happy Funny Weird Thingshappy that this sunday i'm going out with lynn and lishi... miss ya both so muchie!!! i cant seem to satisfy my needs for u!!!! hehe... we shall go out... watch movie... have breakfast lunch and dinner... and we go take neoprints!! and and...i dunno.... we'll do EVERYTHING together!!!
and and... albus dumbledore is gay!!... i think thats damn cool!!! i've always tot he was gay anyway...
my school work is becoming very bad!!! and i'm so pissed at lishi for not replying all my smses!!!! grrrrr.........
i miss baby lyk crazy... and i cant wait to see him for my bdae today....
reflecting... i din really enjoy my bdae... cuz... well... i din manage to spend my bdae with baby... and the days leading to and after my bdae... well... all i can say that they were not easy... infact... i wasnt even very happy those few days.....
i wish ppl will stop making me promises that they cant keep... wads the point of saying this and that... and itz all nth... pointless!!!
My World. My Life. My Rules.
xoxo nikki
12:47 PM
Friday, October 19, 2007
To Go Or Not To Goi have decided that from now one i shall use proper sentences in my blog and . instead of ... becuz i have to practise for my Character Development module!
i am so sick of having to backspace so many times because i am used typing in short form. but more importantly, the reason is that, i can no longer form proper sentences!!! everything comes out in broken english. i find myself having severe difficultly in typing out a simple piece of article to show my viewpoint, refute or agree with another's article.
so all in all, i conclude that i have to practise more, and try harder. much harder.
i'm in a dilemia as so whether should i, or should i not go to school tomorrow? it is such a hassle to go school for only 4 hours. i do really think that there is no point in that. but that is how is should be, and therefore it will be.
i am currently sitting on the hedge and waiting for my beloved's answer as to what time will he be able to book out from NS. his answer will ultimately, be my deciding point for my plans of tomorrow.
and i do believe i am driving myself crazy in my futile attemp at proper english blogging. so therefore, before i lose my sanity, i shall end everything at this note of my still-sane brain.
thou shalt do unto wad thou canst do
My World. My Life. My Rules.
xoxo nikki
1:34 PM
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
So Much Of I-Dunno-Wad-To-Sayhmmm... theres so many things i wanna talk abt... but... i have no idea where to start... haiz...
i miss baby so much.... itz bad new that one person can simply make or break ur day...
this week is a redundant week in sch... so ya... go sch for wad?
suffering from a severe headache that is killing me...
i wish i actually studied... then i would probably be in vetinary technology and enjoying my time in school rather than struggling to go to school each day....
i'm tired... and irritated...
i juz wanna wake up and find this is all juz a nitemare....
i seriously need a part time boyfriend... or a full time bestie... zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
My World. My Life. My Rules.
xoxo nikki
1:56 PM
Friday, October 12, 2007
Thanks KT Kor/Pahaha... thanks to my korkor cum papa mr ken tan... i have a pretty nice bdae... dun complain that i din mention u in my previous post... u deserve a post to urself for ur totfulness!!! ur pink-chocolate-marshmallow-dun-look-lyk-pig cake was very nice!! tho i noe itz all thanks to my dasao cum mama's effort! haha...
i noe u are the one who try to make it look lyk a pig... haha... so it doesnt look lyk one... spoil my lovely lovelove jess' effort...
but anyway... MUACKZ to u all for that wonderful party without itz GOH... haha...
i cant wait to see baby tml.. but gotta to proj!!!
My World. My Life. My Rules.
xoxo nikki
2:19 PM
Thursday, October 11, 2007
Birthday #17 my bdae today!!!
happy things first... mummy bought black pepper crab today! but it din taste very nice... my tastebuds have been spoilt by my baby... haha... but itz still nice!!!
and my bdae cake!
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hmmm... the chocolate is superb!! super nice! haha... and today is overall happy cuz lishi gave me a pink strawberry cheesecake!
but some not very happy things happened!!! i din get to meet baby today.... no one go out with me today... i accidently deleted some of the birthday msges my frens send me and the crab was not very nice... but it was still ok la...
oh well... i hope to see baby soon
My World. My Life. My Rules.
xoxo nikki
1:28 PM
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
Slow... Slow...... Slow.........time is passing SO freaking slowly!!
i cant stand it... grrr....
so much projects to do... plus my hp got sth wrong!!! apparantly some of my frens cannot call me cuz it cant seem to get thru... and my phone keeps hanging up halfway when tlaking to ppl... zzzz.....
and tml's my bdae... but everyone keeps wishing me on the wrong day!!! haha... nvm... itz still nice that they rmb....
miss baby lots... wish i could spend my bdae with baby... haiz...
My World. My Life. My Rules.
xoxo nikki
12:08 PM
Sunday, October 07, 2007
Porn Websiteshaha... the weirdest thing happened juz now... i was tagging on my tagboard when the advert on the top of the cbox showed that my porn websites has been tracked and i should go and download some i dunno wad thing so ppl cant track me... ahhha...
and i was lyk.. wad a lousy advert this is! since i noe i din surf porn then i noe they are cheating me! then i wun dl it... ahha.. so dumdum...
and yesterday my favest babe in the world gave me chocolates! for my bdae present!!! so cool!!! ahhh!!! i'm so happy!!!
one thing i dun understand... u miss him dun u? y dun u juz tell him that? wad a pity is it to let it all go to waste? sometimes u really make ppl think that u juz dun care... itz lyk... i dunno... u dun wanna hear bad things abt urself... and i noe u dun wanna talk abt it... but... u can justify ur actions in a way that i can understand.. but have u put urself in his shoes? maybe u noe that u made a mistake... but y let ur pride wreck something so beautiful?
hmmm... and u lehz?u dun miss her meh? i dunno wad happened... but have u guys sit down and talk? itz not juz telling her how u feel... u gotta let her noe why she do those thing are makign u unhappy... haiz...
i really dun understand y did everything become lyk tt... i dun wan the both of u to juz be a phase in each other's life...
itz our 1 year 2 months anniversary today... and i miss u...
My World. My Life. My Rules.
xoxo nikki
4:33 AM
Saturday, October 06, 2007
Boredoh well.... i spent a whole lot of money... so i'm lyk... desperately in need of money... sad....
i'm meeting my favest babe on earth later at parkway.... miss ys lots lynn... cant wait to see u!!!
lishi is not my favest babe... cuz i'm angry with her!!! always bz cannot meet me... always nv reply my sms.. nagry eiyh her la!!! grrr... nnvm
i miss my baby lots la... so xiang ta.... i cant meet u today... u nv reply my sms today... make me sad... tml... no even sure if i can see u... haiz... sunday i have less time wiht u too.... totall sad...
and to my poor korkor... dun be too sad ok? mmm.. u will still be my best korkor ever...
My World. My Life. My Rules.
xoxo nikki
6:49 AM
Thursday, October 04, 2007
Evil Teacheri met a very evil teacher on the mrt yesterday. and she's really evil.
apparantly, she coincidently met one of her students at PS the one day with his gf. and the very next day, he took MC from school. so she commented to the whole class that juz yesterday he was able to treat his gf to lunch and today he cannot go to school? and the next thing she did was to call up his mother and inform her abt her son's marital status. which the mother did not even appear to take seriously with her first question being how does the girl look lyk and whether that girl is an ah lian.
i mean wads her prob anyway? it was after school so wad right did she have to interfer in it? and for all she knew, her student may have really been sick. and does she have any idea of the consequence of rashly informing his mother abt it?
if the student's mother is unaware of this relationship, there maybe a good reason for it. maybe his mother is really strict, and if she finds out abt the relationship she may forbade him to see his gf leading to estranged family ties. and if the student's mother is aware of it? wad is it to the teacher's business if the mother herself dun care which seems to be the case?
i think on every count the teacher is ridiculous. not only did she interfere with something that does not have any impact on her, she even made fun of the student in question and told her students not to go PS when dating again becuz she is often in that area.
if she did everything out of concern of the student's schoolwork lest he be distracted by bgr, i think that is alrite. but when she was telling another teacher abt it on the mrt, she was laughing all the time at it and agreeing with the other teacher that she indeed has been very "evil", in her own words.
she has treated the student as an object of her entertainment, and by sharing it in such a way with another teacher, effectively humiliating him. this is not the way a teacher, a
role model, should act. she has neglected the student's feelings and has interfered in something that is none of her business with an intent to hurt and humiliate.
i felt really disgusted by her on the train. she has in no way encouraged the student to be more meticulous in his work and less in matters of the heart. i may be very much mistaken but as far as i am concerned at this point of time, i'm deeply grateful that none of my teachers are unreasonable lyk that. and in any case, they offer constructive advice to me.
wad are the teachers coming to these days? and people are complaining teens nowadays are becoming more rowdy. perhaps they should take a closer look at people who ought to have been setting a good example for the impressionable teens.
My World. My Life. My Rules.
xoxo nikki
5:20 PM
Tuesday, October 02, 2007
Itz Juz Damn Sexyhaha... i was reading xiaxue's blog randomly when i realised that she say that she feels that the sexiest part of a guy's body is the hipbone!!!
so do i!!! i was telling baby the other day that seeing guy with that line on their hips juz makes me so horny!!! haha... i'm using the word loosely... but wadeva... i mean itz really cool... i told baby that the only reason i got tgt with him was becuz he used to play bball often and was quite fit and have that very orgasmic curve.. but now he fat le dun have le so i shall find other guys who have it... haha
but i really think itz damn nice la... so that was wad tt crazy steven lim was talking abt when he pointed at his hip in that stupid video when he criticize xiaxue... he so fat abviously dun have la.. confuse me.. haha...
but i think that hollow hollow part at the hip is really damn nice on a guy!!! but apparantly it will hurt a gal when their having sex cuz lyk... ya... the bone will poke poke poke into different parts of the gal depending on the position they are doing it... hahaha...
anyway... i juz wanna tell baby that... please get fitter and get that hollow hollow thing... i'll fuck u everyday!!! hahahaah... i wun even mind if u poke poke poke into me!! itz jzu dman fucking sexy!!!
i'm honestly criminally insane...
tired... i really dun wanna work... FUCK!
My World. My Life. My Rules.
xoxo nikki
4:37 PM
Passes A Day, Like Would A Monthtime passes so slowly!!!
it ought to be tuesday going on to wednesday instead of monday going on to tuesday!!!
haiz...
i shall go sleep soon...
all i can say is that.... working at GV's Candybar SUCKS
and that my bdae is coming soon... and this time... i'm looking forward to it... baby promised me two lollypops and a surprise... and mummy promised me crab.... i'm not working on wed... and i have a short day in school! wads there not to look forward to?
My World. My Life. My Rules.
xoxo nikki
3:45 PM
Monday, October 01, 2007
Missing A Little Somethingitz now 2am and i cant sleep...
last nite... after tossing for ages i finally got to sleep and woke up expecting to see u next to me... but all i saw a huge mess on shelves...
tonite... i'm stil tossing... today was an awful day... time passed to slowly... y last week it passed so quickly? each time i look at least 2 hours passed... but today no matter how many times i looked at the clock the timedun seem to have moved...
itz agony....
haiz...
itz lyk sth impt in my life as disappeared... nth seems right anymore...
i cant sleep!!! itz lyk... i dunno..
juz wanna sleep soon....
10 more days to my bdae... and 26 more days to u being in NS for a year... i miss u baby.. so so much...
My World. My Life. My Rules.
xoxo nikki
4:59 PM
Getting Used To...y i din have to get used to life with u? spending time with u was a very happy time for me.... everything was bearable and perfect... even ur mother... but some how i still feel that i haven made used of all the time we have tgt... there's still so much i wanna do and so much i wanna say to u...
now ur back in camp... and now i'm at home... even if u din have duty today... and we have one more day today... itz not gonna make this any easier for me... having u ard was a blessing... and it made me happy and feel wonderful... juz eating hotdog bread and drinking campbell soup is fun... i dun mind everyday being lyk tt...
i cant wait til next week.. now then i realise that the more time i spend with u makes everything harder to let go...
i miss u so much...
do u noe that?
do u miss me as much too?
My World. My Life. My Rules.
xoxo nikki
5:33 AM
