Wednesday, April 12, 2006
Hard To Love...
loving someone is so difficult... i tot it was supposed to be a beautiful thing.. i look at the ppl around me... i look at myself.. why cant i have that kind of relationship? y the ppl i lyk nv lyk me back? loving the wrong person.. is that wad i am guilty of? now i lyk a guy... a guy that i cannot have.. can never have... y? y muz he be so nice to me? when it is impossible that we can get together... i tried telling myself that i dun lyk him... and i almost suceeded in that... but he had to do the thing that touched me most.. unknowingly i acknowledge the fact.. y... i really did not want this to happen.. i am so torn.. i noe it is impossible.. but i cannot help myself.. and now my passion and my fear r becuz of him.. i cannot face my fear without thinking of him... and i want to stop thnking abt him.. i wan to stop.. if only i an stop i can let go... juz as i have ket everyone other guy go.. but it is virtually impossible.. becuz... unlyk them... he toucheed me the most.. he was the nicest to me among all of them... even my bfs wasnt as nice as him... and he is not even required to do it for me.. but he did it.. i doubt anyone else counld do the same... the split second decision done by someone would be to help themselves first b4 anyone else... yet he put me in front of himself.. when i am no one to him.. if only i am the one by his side... he is perfect to me... in my eyes... foreva perfect.. no one can ever take his place... he is special.. he did sth for me no one else i believe can.. i will nv forget him... this is for him... to my memory.. to issac...
My World. My Life. My Rules.
xoxo nikki
12:35 PM
