Wednesday, June 07, 2006
I Miss Youmissed my com so much lo.. hmm.. got so much to say.. but dunno where to start... so many things happened lehz.. wa.. and i now so disappointed in some ppl.. but some funny things happened too.. everyone in JNCO is saying that shearn chong lyk me.. even william jianwen and pia tat oso noe.. dunno where to hide my face le..
Inline Skatingsometimes i feel lyk i am lyk adri's puppet.. everything goes thru me to her.. issac they all ask for payment from her til they come and ask me.. royston ask why dun i juz tell them to get back to her and juz dun care abt it? as if i dun noe adri well enough..ya la.. refer them back to her she will do sth.. but not everything if they continue to press her.. i ask guan they all to pay me.. they came up with a tonne of excuses not to pay.. now i noe why le.. they got someone backing them ma.. they all only noe how to say that i always side with adri.. when adri not happy abt Nitec camp who was the one talking to her trying to convince her that it was crucial that she was supportive of us.. wad i have done wad do they noe.. all they noe to say is that i only noe how to side her and help her.. i dun expect them to say wa jie hui u so great help us.. but u dun have to say things behind my back.. all i am trying to do is let us be able to work with adri.. but without support from my nco my cmc and my cadets i cannot do anything alone.. since lishi they all got help le.. i am not going to care le.. darwin no longer contacts me abt payment le.. which means that u have done a good job liaising with him.. haha.. i wish u good luck in doing the same with adri after i leave sj
Signing Onhmmm.. we were supposed to say whether we wanted to sign on or not la.. then i think very long lehz.. finally i decided to sign on la.. but not even a week passed b4 i regreted my decision completely.. coming to that later.. anyway.. i was already seriosly doubting my decision after the interview le.. then i was thinking.. wad is so bad abt signing on? had st john not been one of the most important thing in my life? wouldnt i wan to watch and help chung cheng corp grow? the very next day i receive sms from issac abt the inline skating thing as stated above.. as part of chung cheng corp can i juz ignore the fact that we owe ppl payment and dun return? that we dun return our debts? the guys came up wiith so many excuses not to pay.. wan parent letter i give them i parent letter.. how many of u can get adri to churn out a parent letter in a day? give them letter le they say no principal signature dun pay.. i was so angry! budden then i realised y.. later i found out on saturday nite.. haha.. only 2 ppl in this world can let the guys do this.. only two ppl can tell lishi that it is ok that if the ppl dun wanna pay thats fine.. later that nite i called royston telling him my decision that i dun wanna sign on anymore.. acted lyk he din noe anything.. even tried to make me feel guilty for doubting him... i am so disappointed in him..
Roystonfrom the day i joined sj u were my mentor.. i grew from respecting u but disliking u.. to respecting u and lyking u.. later on i even trusted u.. on the day we took over.. u made me lose my respect for u.. and later on i truly hated u for hurting me lyk that.. but then u made me trust u again.. and lyk u again... never did i allow anyone to hurt me twice.. u have done it.. and twice u hurt me more deeply than anyone ever did.. this time i wun forgive u.. dun lie to me again.. cuz i wun trust u again.. truly disappointed in u.. u were the one who made me love sj.. and now u are also the one who made me hate it.. i once said that after JNCO this year i wun wear my uniform again.. u made me change my mind.. becuz u made me realise i loved chung cheng corp and i wanted to continue growing with it.. until u made me realise that everything i had been working for in this corp was a sham.. haha.. JNCO is the last thing i am doing for sj.. i cannot even face going for my POP.. so ya.. end of JNCO is the end of my sj life.. i dunno if i am looking forward to it or not even..
Jianwenthe day at pulau ubin.. thanks for all the advice that u gave me.. really thanks a lot.. budden.. haha.. too late le i guess.. u guys can still make things work becuz u are willing to compromise.. u urself said one person alone cannot do anything.. without support from my nco and cmc committee.. i cannot do anything.. the most crucial ppl that i need support from dun support me.. lyk u said i need like minded ppl to help me.. but in my corp i stand alone with my tic as they say.. thanks for ur advice.. and thank hwee chin for her advice.. but my spirit for sj is dead.. my flame is dead.. i cannot go on le.. i hope ur flame burn forevermore.. the both of u.. thanks a lot..
My World. My Life. My Rules.
xoxo nikki
7:33 AM
