Saturday, June 24, 2006
What's The Pointits always my fault ya? my fault that i loved him.. its my fault i cared abt jing ying and tried to help her.. my damn fault that i joined sj and brought myself so much heartache. my fucking fault that cared for my mum rite? when u ppl not happy u vent ur anger on me its my fault that i made u pissed.. when u piss me off and i vent my anger on u its my fault cuz u r inncoent and i am unreasonable.. its my fault that i always lykt he wrong and i always do stupid stuff with them rite? its my fault that i when out with him even though i knew i may hurt her thru it. its my fault that i have so much troubles in sj becuz i wanted to intefere with stuff btw u guys. i begged adri to tell me wad happened btw the tic and the oic.. i purposely tried to hurt all my frens.. ok? its all my fault.. and it is still my fault becuz i dun have to courage to face up to everything.. and i still
forget it.. wads the point? honestly.. wads the point? i dun see the point in anything.. fuck it all u crazy ppl.. i dun care anymore.. i really wun care.. oh god i wun care.. u noe wad? this is too much.. u dun scold ppl lyk that.. u scolded me the whole day.. to me.. wadeva.. i have to pretend everythign's fine and dandy when all i wan to do is sit down and cry.. but i cant.. becuiz no one realy understands.. i am the crazy one here.. crazy enough to actualyl think that u care.. crazy enough to bother so much.. becuz god there is no point.. u slap me.. fine.. and u .. u took my heart and brought it high.. and then u let it fall from the top.. wadeva.. fuck it ppl.. u dun giev a damn abt how i feel to u all u are the most impt.. why should i suffer to feed ur ego? why should i do anythign for anyone beside myself? trust me.. ppl.. no more k/ who cares abt ur damned feelings if u dun care abt mine.. i dun even wan to bother anymore.. and i dun need help ok? honestly.. so juz shut up and get lost all of u.. i dun need frens who hurt me k?juz honestly fuck it.. fuck off.. fucked up bastards.. who gives a damn abt hw? who gives a fucking damn abt anythign.. maybe u wun see me tml le.. i really really dun wanna care anymore.. there is no one i can trust that wun hurt me.. so ya juz get lost.. theres nth left here anymore.. i dun have the guy love.. i dun have the family that i love.. i dun have anythign.. everythign i ever cared abt disappointed me one way or another.. so god damn it juz fuck it.. ok? i dun care.. i dun have anythign left.. a person who has nth left is a dangerous person.. becuz that person have nth to hold him back.. and he can juz do anythign.. becuz he dun care anymore.. adn i dun care.. i juz wanna get out.. out of this pathetic world.. a world that caused me so much pain.. physically mentally and emotionally.. juz get out of my world ppl.. get out.. or i will get out..
My World. My Life. My Rules.
xoxo nikki
7:57 AM
