Monday, July 24, 2006
Condemnedi dun wanna give a fuck abt u guys anymore... since u already condemned me nth i do will ever be enough for u... i am always wrong... wad u din see does not mean did not happen... it only means that u are blind thats all... wadeva i do is nv enough... is always wrong... have u ever tot of how i felt? u mean to say tt i am happy i lost my wallet i threw my wallet to the fucking bastard who stole it izzit? that i actually jumped for joy when i failed my exams? that all the time i spent in my room was to sleep la... no i din do my work... have u ever rmbed the times u saw me do my work? no.. only the times i din... when i did my work did u praise me? no... only when i did not do u scream at me... thats very good and kind of u rite? i am supposed to love u for tt.... things u dun tell me u always say u do.. things i tell u u say i dun.. i can rite it down and u say that i wrote tt last min to fake everything... wads the point? of slapping me and then telling me tt all u wanted was for me to improve? and tt u love me? words dun count.. actions do? at the age of 8 u ruion my childhood... when all other kids were playing happily with their frens... u had to force me to see the ugly side of ppl... wad i am today is wad u did... wads the point? all the time all i wanted was for u to one day tell me that i did great... and treat me lyk u treat him... i dunno wad izzit tt when wrong... ill disciplined... his even worse than me... yet u can love him so much so why not me? wad i do will always be wrong... dun sing sweet nths to me anymore... pls... juz let me go.. dun hurt me anymore... honestly... i am tired... pls... i dun wanna go on anymore... dun insult me and tell me its motivation for me to go on anymore... dun give me false hope anymore.. all of u... i juz wanna leave everything.. let everything.. if not i still had hope.. still had no courage.. i would have taken the easier way out already... or perhaps lyk him.. u can hurt me so much i can juz forget abt everything at once... if i had one more chance i would do it all over again... and ended everyting earlier... i juz keep praying... keep hoping.. for my deliverance....
My World. My Life. My Rules.
xoxo nikki
8:14 AM
