Wednesday, July 05, 2006
In Schoolhmmm... in school rite now.. very sianz.. nth to do.. chinese period is totally boring.. supposed to go the wad zaobao to see news... budden is juz so sianz la.. anyway.. hmmm... something happened this morning.. at 1 plus.. over the phone.. shall not say wad is it abt.. hmmm... juz feeling really confused rite now.. and tt i am such a bitch.. its not even a month yet.. but it feels lyk years.. looking back.. i wonder how could i have been so foolish.. budden.. i still noe why i did it.. even though.... it was not really rite... i dunno la.. so such has happened... so much has changed.. i wish that aspect of my life would change too.. but i guess it would nv.. i mean the past will always be the past.. wondering.. future.. wad would my future be lyk.. it looks bleak..
looking at u now.. i wonder abt lot of stuff.. lyk why would u do wad u did.. why would u do such things.. i still dun understand.. do u have any idea the type of hurt u caused in ur frens.. more than juz anger towards u.. its a sense of disappointment.. u noe that.. i wonder why would u do these things.. u insist that ppl dun understand u.. that i dun understand u.. true.. i dun understand.. dun understand why would u do it the way u did it.. vecuz if it were up to me.. i wouldnt do it that way.. u keepsaying that u dunno.. but i dunno wad u dunno.. haven i told u everythign and made myself clear? i mean.. u say they are being cruel.. i agree.. words used are too harsh.. but they feel that if the words used are in anyway considerate to ur feelings its lyk u are juz still going to think that u are rite... it doesnt make sense.. i dunno la.. its lyk... u are really trying to d\find excuses for urself.. i tried so hard to not het irritated with u.. but each time that u say that u understand.. u actualyl dun understand anythiugn at all.. i get a feeling lyk u are juz trying to fu yan us u noe.. and dun tell me that u dun feel that if things are repeated again and again it does not feel fake to u.. its lyk if u say u are upset and it hurt ur frenship.. then its a personal thing.. u dun tell one person i love and turn around and tell someone else the same thing.. to me i feel that way la.. and i am not the only one lo.. honestly.. i keep telling u that now is not the time to do anyhtign.. its lyk they are not receptive to ur change.. no matter wad u do it will not make a difference.. do u get it??? i dun think u do.. u keep saying that u dunno wad to do.. so i am telling wad is going on.. but u dun wan to do wad i have told u.. and u insist that u dunno.. i dun think there is anyway that we can help u la.. all of us have been very patient lo.. but then each of us have got a limit to our patience too.. they have run out of patience.. budden i am still here trying to help... so i would appreciate it if u dun lyk tell me thanks for telling me this and i will change and turn around to complain to someone else abt me la.. thats juz very two-faced and fake and damn disgusting...
nth much else to say le..
Loving someone without a reason is the Greatest Love.
Because whatever wrong that person does,
Because however that person changes,
You do not need a reason to continue loving him.
Loving someone without a reason is the Weakest Love.
Because once you feel that you do not love him anymore,
You cannot find a reason to love him again.
My World. My Life. My Rules.
xoxo nikki
12:37 AM
