Thursday, January 25, 2007

So Fucked Up

i juz wanna freaking spend more time with u... am i so fucking wrong????

fuck it...

i juz dun wanna stay at home... dun u get it? i dun wanna stay with a bunch of ppl who tells me they dun give a fuck if i died... or they rather i died than if i came home paralysed cuz they wun fucking look after me...

i sorry i din go look for u yesterday.... i lost track of time... and since it was so late i would have to rush home later.... so i din look for u....

i am so sick of worrying for u... damn it... who cares that ur wound gets infected? that u were in an accident? I NOE.... ur MUM...

who wants to go ur hse anyway? and hear her talk to me in that despising way... i was juz worried that the bandages that were kept for so many years would be dirty k? and ur wound is sich a big patch can u imagine if it got infected? cant she please look at the bandages??? they turned yellow already!!!! and she insist they are clean.... i din even say anything k? and the way she keep asking me to stop u from taking cold drinks and dun eat this dun eat that... lyk itz my fault u eat them... lyk i FORCED u to eat them...

u keep sayign ur wounds dun hurt cuz u dun wan her to worry... and then the way she acts when u wince cuz ur wound hurts is juz so irritating... an idiot would noe that such a damn big wound would hurt can? there's nth wrong with showing that u are hurt wad....

how often izzit that u get so many days of MC? cant i even see u? on the rare days i am not working??? cuz every weekend u are out i got to work.... today i off and u MC... cant i even see u? i dunno wad the fuck is happening... ya wadeva.... u ask me why last nite i cant sleep? i keep thinking how are u? is ur wound alrite? can u clean ur wound urself?

i guess i am juz dumb to keep myself awake worrying abt u.... thinking that i can see u today....

my fault.... i shouldnt have been so fucking dumb...

Y THE FUCKING HELL SHOULD I CARE ANYWAY????

y am i giving a fuck anyway? u dun wan me to care wad...

i'm so pissed off and i dunno wad to do to get this fucking irritating damned feeling out off me....

juz damn me.... fuck it la

My World. My Life. My Rules.
xoxo nikki
3:04 AM

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`~ jiehui.nikki
`~ 10.10.1990
`~ libra
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