Monday, April 27, 2009
Shit Load of Crapok... to begin with.. here's a damn chio photo of me on the poster for Face of 2009 at Downtown East. Issac was in tt modelling competition but photos will have to wait til lynn send them to me... =D
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i muz post many many many of my photo cuz tts the only one tt i've got!! =( haha... but dun really look lyk me tho.. =(
next... i changed my phone! finally.. to the ice cream phone.. cost baby only $38.. kekeke.. one of my best buys EVER!!! haha
school has started and i'm already lagging behind.. i juz dun get all those mathematical modules and it totally sucks lyk shit... omg... sometimes i juz feel so dumdum...
on a happier note... i got A for my attachment!! hehe.. i dunno if i will get my performance bonus... haha.. lalala...
My World. My Life. My Rules.
xoxo nikki
9:14 PM
Monday, April 13, 2009
My Wish List~*~*~*~*~*~
I wish this hadn't happened.
I wish I could turn back time.
~*~*~*~*~*~
If I cry and get emotional,
I wish you knew that it isn't because you have hurt me.
I just needed to get it off my chest.
~*~*~*~*~*~
I need diversions, so I do want to hear about you,
but I also want you to hear about me.
I might be sad and I might cry,
but I wish you would listen to me too.
~*~*~*~*~*~
I know that you think of me often.
I also know that you know I miss you too.
But I wish you would let me know these things
through a phone call, an sms, or a real big hug.
~*~*~*~*~*~
I wish you wouldn't expect my grief to be over.
These times are traumatic for me,
but I wish you could understand that my grief will never be over.
I will suffer this until the day I die.
~*~*~*~*~*~
I am working hard to forget it all,
but I wish you could understand.
I will never fully recover,
ar least not as quickly as you want me to.
~*~*~*~*~*~
I wish you wouldn't expect me
"not to think about it" or "be happy".
Neither will happen for a very long time,
so don't frustrate yourself.
~*~*~*~*~*~
I know you don't believe me,
when I say "I'm quite sure it happened".
But I wish you wouldn't say,
"Just pretend that it didn't."
~*~*~*~*~*~
I wish you understood how my life has shattered.
I know it is miserable for you to be around me
when I'm feeling miserable.
Please be as patient with me as I am with you.
~*~*~*~*~*~
When I say, "It's okay",
I wish you could understand
that I don't "feel" okay.
~*~*~*~*~*~
I wish you knew that all these feelings
I'm having are very normal.
Depression, anger, hopelessness and overwhelming sadness
are all to be expected.
So please excuse me
when I'm quiet and withdrawn or irritable and cranky.
~*~*~*~*~*~
Your advice to "take it one day at a time" is excellent advice.
However,
a day is too much and too fast for me right now.
I wish you could understand
that I'm doing good to handle an hour at a time.
~*~*~*~*~*~
Please excuse me if I seem rude,
certainly not my intent.
Sometimes the world around me goes too fast
and I need to get off.
When I walk away,
I wish you would let me find a quiet place to spend time alone.
I wish you understood that I've changed.
~*~*~*~*~*~
i got this off this webpage which i felt was interesting.. it really touched my heart a certain way.. i couldnt put everything here becuz i'm not ready yet... so i changed a few things.. and hope tts okay...
My World. My Life. My Rules.
xoxo nikki
11:43 AM
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