Sunday, January 03, 2010
Horrible Day at SupperclubThe music sucked, the crowd sucked, the dance floor sucked and the friends' friends sucked.
Dunno why some guys so idiot one. You put your hands around me I try to push it away means I dun want you to touch me, dun mean that you hold on tighter lo. Fuck. Damn annoyed by the guys there. No respect at all. Then the only nice one there got no initiative at all. Other guys push him away then he juz move. Somemore got one juz grabbed me and like wanna run away with me or something. Never again man. Recently all me friends' friends all no etiquette. Fucked up.
But today, I almost lost control of myself. At many times I was teetering on the edge. But luckily I came back to my senses in time. I dunno if my will power was really that good or the guys were juz too gross. But wadeva it is, I'm glad I kept myself safe, at least to a point. I cannot allow myself to self-destruct again. No matter wad happens again I must keep myself sane.
Talked to you today. Now I know you are truly gone. I don't harbour any hopes anymore. But I juz wished that I wasn't so dumb. That I hadn't done all those stupid things. I came so close to losing myself recently too often.
I'm scared.
My World. My Life. My Rules.
xoxo nikki
3:33 AM