Sunday, February 21, 2010
A Little Prayer.God, if there is an afterlife, please don't give me any conscience or compassion. Don't give me the ability to love.
If I were to die, please hide my body away. Don't let anyone find me so that I can Rest In Peace.
I would rather I hurt everyone around me a hundred times over than for them to hurt me once. Isn't there anyone who will love me for who I am? If you can't love me for who I am, please don't ask me to change. I'm tired of pretending to be someone I'm not.
I'm not that strong, I can't go on and on like that. There is so much in me that is waiting to get out. I wish I hadn't tried to be myself. If I didn't get tired and stop pretending and let my weakness show everything wouldn't have become like that. Everything would have proceeded like normal and everything will be okay. Now that my true feelings have shown I cannot keep them back.
I'm weak. No amount of pretending can change it.
God, give me the strength to die. Take away the life that you have given me. I'm sorry I can't appreciate my life now, but there don't seem to be much to be appreciated. Give me a second chance God, and don't let me forget my lesson in this life. I promise to make better.
My World. My Life. My Rules.
xoxo nikki
4:29 PM
