Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Assumptions of MeProve me wrong darling. Let me know that I am truly as beneath your notice as you want me to think I am, instead of searching for my blog and viewing it. =D
Like I said. I was making assumptions too. Stop having guilty-conscience.
This is super funny. In a morbid way. =X
I just don't get how we could go from being great friends to this. I have never ignored you the way you claimed I did. People with eyes who were with me saw how I said 'Hi!' and looked like an idiot cause you pretended that you didn't see me standing right next to you.
I tire of this nonsense anyway. You people have successfully extended my last semester in school and made it hell. Haven't you have had enough fun yet? Every fucking thing you do hurts me like crazy. I'm not afraid to admit it. Both of you have hurt me like crazy. Because I truly thought you were my friend. I just didn't think friends treated each other like that.
I want a chance to sit down and find out what went wrong. I want to clear the air. But then, I know, to you both, it will be my fault no matter what. You will not be open to seeing the entire picture. Why? Because you are too freaking stuck-in-the-mud with your thinking.
I wish I could simply ignore you the way you did with me and erase you completely from my life. But I am much too much of an idiot to do so. Like Chloe said, this is something I have to walk out of myself.
I can't believe that I actually have to go for counselling because of this stupid matter. I seriously want to snap out of it. I can't believe how much you are affecting me. Until now I cannot believe that I have been fucked up by you. I cannot believe that I am still hurting from everything. I thought I was fine. I thought I was okay already. I guess I convinced myself that the front I was putting up was true.
But my wounds are still as fresh as ever.
Can I just forget this entire year and redo it all over again?
But you know? Even if this year was done all over again, things will still end up the same. It was a matter of sooner or later.
Just tell me one thing, why is he so important to you that my closeness to him have to affect you so much? Aren't you already attached???
My World. My Life. My Rules.
xoxo nikki
3:17 AM
