Saturday, March 27, 2010
ReleasedAll of a sudden, I started crying for no reason. This time round, alone in my room, I finally allowed myself to cry my heart out.
All these time, I have only cried in
Qiyuan's presence. I always tried hard to stop crying in front of him. I guess the relief from the stress I felt all these time allowed me to finally cry at home.
I have never felt comfortable in my own home for a very long time. The only comfort I have was from being with
Qiyuan and knowing that he will never abandon me. I guess
that's why all these time it was only when I am with him that I felt safe to let my emotions show. But at the same time, I feel that it was wrong to let myself be vulnerable
in front of anyone so I always tried hard to stop crying.
Being able to let myself go in the privacy of my own room was a release in itself I guess.
I guess then, from now on, I have truly moved on.
I feel this sense of peace resonating within me.
I feel a sense of calmness that I have not felt for a very long time.
My World. My Life. My Rules.
xoxo nikki
1:15 AM
