Friday, September 30, 2005
hmmm.. jingying slit her wrist today.. she says its becuz of stress frm exams.. so y dun i believe her? haiz.. cuz i noe her too well? so tired.. y is she lyk tt.. time and again i tired to help her.. but it still turned out lyk tt.. should i have tired so hard to protect her last time? maybe if i din tired to hard to protect her things wun be lyk that.. yet maybe.. i gave in to much to her.. i noe her so well.. becuz i was her last time.. she had her past... so did i.. she remnds me so much of myself.. i am still changing.. i try so hard.. once or twice i will lose myself.. she is stil lyk tt.. n if she dun change.. i dunno wad will happen to her.. i was so freaked out juz now.. everything juz came back to me.. but now is lyk wadeva.. its not pity tt she wants.. y we r diff is i kept everythng to myself.. but she wants attention.. maybe lyk one day she will realise as i did tt wad she is doing is not rite.. but now no one can help her.. she muz help herself.. u think i did wrong ignoring her.. u say becuz of my reaction she thinks i dun care? she is so much lyk myself i can tell u wad she's going to say.. u think she din noe tt all these time i was still looking out for her? u think she din noe the impact of her words? u think she dunno that we are watching her every move? of cuz she noes.. n thats y she is doing wad she is doing.. i have had enough.. jia-hao.. i maybe hard hearted.. but tts becuz i noe.. i noe wad it is lykt o be lyk tt.. nightmares? how many times i woke in the middle of the night crying? u think i had it easy getting away from my past? u think i dun understand her? think she is pitiful? jerome n i noe her better.. cuz we went thru is maybe he is even still going thru wad she is going thru.. if we can get on with our lives so can she.. she needs to stand up on her own two feet now.. jing ying.. i dun care if u are going to read this or not.. but let me tell u tt u r doing this to someone who has been doing it for the past 4 years of her life.. i believe u can snap out of it.. till now even i nv stopped believing n trusting.. whether u trust me or not is not my concern for there is nth i can do..
My World. My Life. My Rules.
xoxo nikki
10:55 AM
