Thursday, September 15, 2005
y is it that when other ppl r in a bad mood they throw their temper at me i am supposed to take it n forget tt its has ever happen after they apologize n even if they nv apologize i am still suppoed to forgive them? n yet when i am in a bad mood n show attitude i am being selfish, unreasonable n ridicules.. when u do sth its ok.. yet when i do the same thing its wrong.. when u give me advice i am supposed to take it otherwise i dun believe in u, dun trust u n is not ur fren anymore.. yet when i give u advice its ok tt u dun take it..
u say u dun trust me any more cuz i seem to be blowing hot n cold.. but i dunno if i can trust u anymore.. after all that u did to me.. i found in myself the ability to forgive u.. but now i cant find it anymore.. time n again.. ur lies.. wad u say is the truth n wad is lies i do not noe any more.. now i am wondering if all that u said were lies..
i dun wanna care anymore.. really.. i am killing myself caring for u.. one after another.. u ppl r ruining me.. i dunno who to trust anymore.. how do i noe if anyone else is not lying to me? once, twice, not now the third time i have to pick up the pieces after u ppl tore my life apart.. n to think i believed most in u.. i keep hoping.. praying tt all the hurt will go away.. but til now i am still crying.. i nv felt so helpless.. who else is going to hurt me next i do not noe..
i dun have the courage to face life anymore.. who else is going to hurt me next? y hurt me lyk tt? all of u? all the trials tt we went thru together.. together as one.. united forever.. u were the one who told me tt.. but u were oso the one to go against it.. i cherished all of u dearly.. i can rmb all that u have ever said to me abt urself.. can u say the same?
my life is falling apart n i dun have the energy to pick it up.........
My World. My Life. My Rules.
xoxo nikki
12:02 PM
