Sunday, October 02, 2005
i din ask for u to tell me anything.. y hurt me lyk tt.. i juz happened to come across ur friendster.. i dunno wad u did with her.. her perfume on u when u got to church? n she juz add this testimonial yesterday.. u told me lyk how many days ago.. lyk 3? u said u miss me u fucking jerk.. asshole.. bastard.. i hate u.. all these time.. lies.. wad the fuck.. one after another... ang weien u fucking fucking asshole.. wad did i do to deserve this? i nv asked u to do anything tt u din wanna do.. all i did was to ask u ppl not to lie to me.. is tt so hard.. did god have to do this to me? i didnt ask for u to lie to me.. i said u could tell me anything n i wun hold it against u as long as u didnt lie.. fucking bastard.. i hate u.. alwayn goh u idiot! how dare u.. all of u.. i hate u.. i hate myself.. y did i trust so easily? fucking bastards.. oh how much i hate hate hate.. my life's in a mess.. becuz of me? or u? izzit me? i nv asked for much.. juz for u to not lie.. n i nv got angry even when u shouted at me.. i am such a failure.. how much i hate.. i wish i didnt care.. y am i so weak.. time n again.. after so long.. i am still running in circles.. fucking idiot.. i tot i was strong.. atfer u left me 3 years ago.. yet 3 years later i am still in this damn rut.. i cant get out! how much i hate hate hate.. wad a failure i am.. y am i so trusting.. time n again i got hurt.. y do i love so strongly n hurt so deeply.. when will it stop? i want it to stop.. when will the lies stop.. u wan to die... when u have people who care for u.. u hurt me so much yet i am still here for u.. i dun wanna care anymore.. i dun wanna hurt anymore.. i dun wanna hate anymore.. i want it to stop! i wan to stop crying stop caring stop hurting.. when will it stop.. oh how much i hate!
My World. My Life. My Rules.
xoxo nikki
5:00 AM
