Thursday, November 16, 2006
Close My Eyes........juz visited zhu's blog... and left a tag there... haha... no idea how coem i go anyway.... it hasnt been updated since august... and all the more there is no cahnce of him updating it now that he is in NS.... but i juz went there... and... read his posts there... i wonder where is his previous blog.... becuz i oso read his past tagboard post..... and it dates back to 2005.... hmmm.... wad the point of tagging there anyway? no one goes there anymore... HE dun even go back himself... wads the point of tagging whilst knowing that there will be no replies???
visited someone else's blog to... this person is in a way.... to be really general.... sort of impt.... cuz this person's blog has got to do with..... haha... i dunno.... i wonder why would i go there.... sort of crazy..... same lyk why would i want to read his past tags whilst knowing wad is inside...... ridicules........ ya... thats me... crazy and ridiculous.... wad can i say? forgive my stupidity.... but i am really curious abt this gal whom u cannot forget for 2 years....
ya ya ya... insecure.... thats wad i am feeling now... i thik u will be getting irritated by me soon..... i wish i wasnt so curous abt so many things.... or even observant abt such things.... i wish that i wun be so empathical sometime... becuz that only threw me into deeper confusion wher i hesistate to look for more to prove my theories.... becuz more often thna not... the only times i have ventured futher cuz me more injuries only....
i wanna close my eyes to so many things... juz to let it go.... i carry with me this burden of pain and hope..... that i dun dare to let go... pain.... in case i ever forget the ppl who hurt me... in case i ever forget how i got hurt.... in case i get myself into the same situation as in the past..... so i would learn my lessons... so i would get hurt again... but the hope... so that i wun juz stop in my tracks..... so that i would at least continue on this path... so that i can continue to believe that someone out there actually is the one for me... is the one who can finally rid me of the pain.... but the same pain is holding me back!!!!
i juz wanna let go... cna anyone out there give me the courage to do so?
everytime i'm in ur arms... for that one moment.... the world is fine and great.... is perfect... juz at the time when i am with u... each time u hold me close to u i wis time would stop at that point.... where everything is perfect.... til the end of time....................
closing my eyes while the tears fall....juz hoping they can finally wash away the pain.....juz only hoping.....hoping...a single simple hopethats u....
My World. My Life. My Rules.
xoxo nikki
4:55 AM
