Friday, August 10, 2007
Fustratedthere is so much i wanna talk abt... but becuz of the people who are reading my blog i cant post it and itz making me feel increasingly irritated.. wadeva
even tho i repeatedly tell u sth... u always nv rmb... i really dun get it... do i mean so little... theres so much i wanna say but i dunno how to go abt telling u...
if there is sth i learnt... that would be to not be nice... itz not worth being nice... not to anyone... nice ppl always lose out... and... if u dun wanna be lied to... then dun trust... itz all the mindset thing... if u nv trusted that person then how can that person lie to u? i rather i let everyone on earth down... than have anyone let me down again...
y are jokes always made at my expense? and becuz itz meant to be a joke i have to laugh with u and pretend everything is fine? i treat u the same way u treat me... and i dun lyk the person i've become... how can u enjoy laughing at people's expense... i dun enjoy it at all... i dun understand how people can get a kick outta this... unless i really disliked this person... even then there's still always that tinge of guilt... dun u feel it? or do u really hate me that much?
i find myself having the knack of rmbing things that i find meaningful to me easily... and if it is that impt to me i can regurgitate it exactly as it is... the exact words that u say... the actions u did... everything... i dun expect anyone to be the same as me... but... at least... a little bit... or do i really mean that little?
and now i find myself rmbing less and less.. i dun get it... i hate feeling lyk this... hate feeling inadequate... hate feeling inferior...
My World. My Life. My Rules.
xoxo nikki
2:31 PM
